amateur endocrinology

I am too scattered to even think about a coherent post. I blame hormones. So here's a bullet-pointed list of semi-related items.

• I am now an endocrinologist. Yesterday my doctor (my regular GP, not the midwife) almost gave me a heart attack after some routine bloodwork showed that my thyroid is overactive. She scolded me for not receiving "medical care" during my pregnancy and was overall pretty dismissive and sniffy. When I got home, me and my crack research team (the dogs) hit the internet and we are now experts on thyroid function and the vagaries of thyroid test results. We found a recent article in a reputable medical journal finding that pregnant women with thyroid levels like I have but who are symptomless should not have any interventions during pregnancy or birth. Not that I expect the doctors here in the backwoods to give this much credit. Which brings me to...
  
• I am having the baby in the yard. I'm sure that my thyroid non-condition is going to risk me out of my midwife's practice, and since there's no freaking way I'm having this baby in the hospital, that pretty much leaves me with giving birth in the backyard. I'm thinking we can turn it into a barbecue.
• I don't really hate medicine. I'd be dead multiple times over if it weren't for a very good doctor who figured out how to treat a very bad kidney infection I had a few years back. I'm very grateful for that doctor and some very expensive antibiotics. I just don't think that being a doctor makes the sun shine out of your ass. If I'm fine, keep your hands off me.
• I am a fertility goddess. When I was pregnant with Joseph I felt like a fertility goddess. After the first trimester, I was happy and well-rested and I had gorgeous skin (for the first time in 20 years). I felt like the first person in the world to ever become pregnant. This time around I have felt like a fat vomity slob, but for the past week I've almost felt good. I've made dinner every night for the past week, which, after the past two months of frozen entrees and exorbitant grocery bills, is making several people in this house very happy. Also, at 13 weeks, I'm starting to look pregnant instead of bloated, so this is doing good things for my ego.
• My boy is going through an especially cute phase. Witness the photo at the top of the post. Irresistable, no? He's talking much more, if talking includes animal noises and sounds like "whee!" "boo" and "uh-oh."