Tuesday, June 22, 2010

in which i trash talk my kids

My children are crappy sleepers.  My husband and I are also pretty awful sleepers (he wakes up in the middle of the night to eat/wander/scare the shit out of me; I have never had a normal night's sleep without Ambien CR).  I often wonder whether shitty sleeping is genetic or whether it's just that since Scott and I have no idea how to make ourselves sleep we're poorly equipped to help the little ones.

At night, when we peek into Joseph's room we never know what kind of freaky shit we'll find.  Will he be passed out on the storage bench like some kind of vagrant at a bus stop?  Will he be naked from the waist down?  Will he be sprawled on the floor while his trucks are cozily tucked in his bed?  He often wakes up in the middle of the night screaming about sharks and robots.  It takes him hours of babbling and playing to fall asleep. He almost never sleeps past dawn.

Harry isn't actually a horrible sleeper.  He still wakes up to nurse 100,000,000omg000,000wtf times a night, which might be a bit much for an eight month old, but that's relatively manageable.  It doesn't take anything especially heroic to get him to fall back asleep and he actually takes two fairly predictable naps a day.  In this family, he's a sleeping prodigy.

Violet, however, is a mystery.  She only naps in the car or in somebody's lap, which means she barely naps at all.  She will take cat naps in a sling but wakes up when she hears so much as a peep from either of her brothers.  Transferring her to a flat surface is fraught with peril; if she wakes up, her (loudly voiced) feelings of outrage and betrayal will keep her awake for hours.  At night she wants to sleep on my stomach with her head embedded in my neck and her fingers in my eye sockets.  I believe that she would be a happier, less needy baby (and that I would be a happier, less insane mother) if she would get more sleep, but I can't figure out how to make that happen without selling the boys or chaining them to a fence or something so that Violet and I can cuddle all day.

All of this is to say:  I'm so damn tired.  I was hoping that this twin parenting gig would be less stressful by this point, but it most definitely is not.  There is always somebody who is not happy.  There is always something that should have been done already.  Sigh.


Theresa said...

*Hugs* not much consolation, but my 10 month old is STILL waking up 3-4 times a night for a feeding. I'm at a loss since his older sister was sleeping through the night at 4 months.

Jenna said...

Oh, I am so sorry. It's bad enough dealing with one bad sleeper, but a whole house... eesh. My husband and son both use white noise to sleep(husband- ipod with books on tape, son- fan set to high). I hope you find some sleep soon.

Annie said...

Yep. I too am raising a terrible, terrible sleeper. She is six and still wakes up at least once per night. This may be more than tangentially related to the fact that she is thus far an only child. Good luck out there, Karen!

Amanda, Jake, and Parker Patow said...

Oh Karen, I am so sorry to share this info with you, but Parker STILL wakes to nurse like 5 or 6 times a night! Yes I did have him down to two or three but he got sick and now he's cutting two molars so.... Anyway, I am not so sure that not sleeping well is herditary, I was hoping this was true however. Jake and I are both very good sleepers and Parker, not so much. All I can say it thank god we cosleep, but at the same time, I too get fingers in the eye sockets and much more all night, every night!
Hang in there...hopefully (for the both of us) there is more sleep in the near future. Sorry for the long post :)

Formerly Gracie said...

I was in tears... TEARS... reading this from laughing so hard. Especially the part about finding your son naked from the waist down or trucks in his bed. As my daughter screams herself to sleep at this very second, I can so relate!

Anonymous said...

well at least you have a way with words. =) you crack me up. i hope sleeps gets easier- i used to use a baby straight jacket to help jude sleep- it was this hardcore swaddle, i'll try and remember the name and send you a link.
christy pellicer

Tammie said...

hey lady. i was thinking about you today. hope all is well.