Thursday, October 22, 2009

cervix watch 2009

I can't decide whether it's in really poor taste to write about one's cervix on the interwebs. 

In the last few months I've discussed that part of my body with total strangers.  And my parents.  Is it dilated? Funneling?  Short?  Long?  Changing?  High, low, thick, thin, hard, soft, etc.  Six weeks of bed rest and (alleged) preterm labor can't really be discussed without mentioning the cervix, so by now I don't have any boundary issues.  Cervix cervix cervix!  Say it loud and there's music playing...

So.  Yesterday the fetuses and I went to the doctor where we learned that I'm 4 cm dilated and very effaced.  Doctor thinks it likely that the babies will be born in the next week.  So, naturally, I think to myself, "I really ought to go to the fabric store."

Naturally.

There are only 700 tons of laundry sitting in my roach-infested garage, waiting to turn into mildewy rags.  There are exactly zero frozen meals for us to eat after I come home with the babies.  My hospital bag remains empty, except for some yarn, a pair of tweezers, and a book about breastfeeding multiples.  My house is in an unprecedented state of squalor.  None of these situations are likely to resolve themselves, and are even less likely to be resolved by anybody I might happen to be married to.

But to the fabric store I went, and $45 dollars worth of fat quarters later I felt like my nesting urges were totally fulfilled.  I am completely ready to have these babies.

I seriously think that when the time comes, I might post photographs of the fabric instead of the babies.

7 comments:

gidgettm said...

Naturally. :-) Here's wishing you a house cleaning/cooking fairy.

Barefoot_Mommy said...

lmao... that was SO ME like 3 months ago. Extremely pregnant and all I wanted was to buy more fabric. Never mind the laundry, the bathroom needing cleaned or any of that nonsense!

Tammie said...

that is an attention grabbing title. i sat down to read only one blog and it was yours. i couldnt resist.

if i lived closer id totally do your 700 tons of laundry for you.

im anxious to see what you make with all of those fat quarters. (by the way, do you have a fancy fabric store there or just a joanns?)

oh, and at least finish packing your hospital bag

Kira said...

I'm just looking forward to reading about you shouting someone out of your hospital room as you deliver the twins your way. Regulate!

When I was expecting Ravi I was pissed that I could never find actual photographs of an expanding cervix, only those stupid pastel line drawings of concentric circles. Can't someone at some point in time just use a tiny camera tube to snap a few pics of the real deal? It's like an unfulfilled need for me now to see photos of a damn ripening cervix. If I ever have another baby I will get a freaking filament camera and photograph my own for posterity.

Kira said...

Holy cow, someone has beaten me to it: http://www.beautifulcervix.com

Karen said...

Tammie, we have two good fabric stores in town; one even has a good selection of apparel fabric, which is surprising.

I'm so glad that obsessing over fabric and cervixes makes sense around here.

Cindy said...

Oh my .... I saw your comment about David Copperfield on A Mingled Yarn, and followed you back here...I've been laughing and reminiscing while reading some of your posts of this year.

I am here to tell you that you can survive twins, with some humor and sense intact. You will be fine.

My twin daughters were born when my first daughter was 5 - they will be 20 in two months (and I still haven't lost all the weight). I wish I had blogged the last 20 years. It's been some crazy fun ride.

Enjoy.